Saturday 2:00pm


SETTING THE SCENE: Church is tomorrow but today the house is full. Clee is manning chair #1 with partner Turk (Terrance Willis) holding his own in chair #2. The conversation suddenly takes a most familiar turn.



Jerome: (Shouting) That's it, that's it right there!

Turk: What up 'Rome.

Jerome: On the tube...in that Martin commercial. That gurl is Sho nuff "draggin a wagon"


**All eyes in the house turn toward the TV**


Levi: Yes sirrrrrr, that Tichina Arnold is a fine motherf**ker...

Clee: Watch your language bro, there's youngsters in here. We need to maintain a family atmosphere.

Levi: Sho you right. I apologize to you youngsters. But you have to admit she is fine as hell...Oops I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Turk: Yeah that woman makes me think of doing some terrible things.

Clee: Think of doing some terrible things? Man every time you're near a woman you're trying to sweat her.

Turk: I'm not batting a thousand Clee. You know that I haven't made a move on that young thang that runs the Beauty shop next door.

Clee: Hey, I wouldn't know nothin about that man

Turk: I hear ya, ha ha ha. Well not to change the subject, but your boy Vic over there in the corner, he's batting a thousand.

Levi: (Loudly) Oh now you're gittin me started. I'm driving to work yesterday, and I see Vic, suave as usual, hugged up in the park with the prettiest moth... uhhh ...I ment to say honey. I mean Tichina Arnold is foin but this one, you could set a tea service on her back and she had this peach fuzz on her legs... ( the door opens) and ... I'll be g..damn that's her!


**Instantaneous silence**


LaKeisha Pugh: Good afternoon

Clee: Hi


**More silence as she approaches Vic, hands him a set of keys, a $20 bill, pecks him on the cheek and whisper in his ear**


Vic: Ok, Bye bye

LaKeisha Pugh: Bye... (she leaves)

Levi: (Big Eyed) No offense Vic but did y'all see the "smoking room" in her britches

Jerome: Oh yeah, she was carrying a bubble

Turk: Did you say "smoking room"?

Levi: Yeah, that gurls waist size was about 24 inches

Vic: 23

Levi: Whew! But she had to buy pants with a 36 inch waist to fit all that powerful rear end.

Turk: Bro, you mean you were looking so hard that you could see the stitching on her pants waist.

Levi: Sho you right. Her body was smoking and she needed the extra room to accommodate her booty.

Clee: How 'bout ya Vic? You ain't saying much. Are you going to hip us to the secret of being smooth with the ladies?

Vic: Clee it takes all kinds in this world. I'm just living in the life one day at a time just like you. There's no secrets just love and survival. It happens one way for me and it happens another way for you. Its simple destiny, you just have to go with the flow bro. I ain't doing nothin special, I'm just being me.

Clee: The brother is smooth ain't he? ...(taking a moment to dap Turk)

Turk: Oh yeah he's smooth alright.

Jerome: (Shouting) Now thats my girl on the screen right there. That Sheryl Lee Ralph knows she's fine.





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Copyright © 1996 Thomas E. Smith All Rights Reserved This Page Last Revised: February 3, 1996